Jon Steward said it best on the Daily Show - Anyone who meant anything to anybody passed away this weekend. It's been a tragic past few days. First the lovely and brave Miss Farah Fawcett passed and then Michael Jackson goes into Cardiac Arrest suddenly and shockingly and finally Billy Mays and his booming voice died just as suddenly.

I am sorry for the families and friends of all three but the death that most effected me and just keeps on depressing me is Michael Jackson's. It effects me the MORE I learn about him and his life. I'm a bit late to make this journal but it's taken myself a while to cope with the thought that Michael Jackson, the undisputed King of Pop, is no longer out there somewhere living, breathing, and creating.

I'd call myself a casual fan of Mr. Jackson. I always liked his music - couldn't wait to see his videos when I was young! Some of my earliest memories are of marveling at the moonwalk as I managed to watch him on MTV or my mother carrying me around as a toddler and 'dancing' to the beat of Billie Jean to help me sleep or.
I fell out with following his music closely in the early ninties and after going on a binge of listening to MJ music and watching videos after learning on Friday of his death - most of which I'd never heard of or seen - I realized I truly missed out on some of the greatest music. ALL of them were great not only because they were beautiful songs but because of the fact that every song he ever did had some sort of meaning or message or was his own personal message about different topics, be it the environment or something in his own life.

His music was some of the best ever released and I will always believe this until the day I die.


He was an amazing singer, dancer, and a true entertainer. He was one of the few artists that I enjoy watching in concert because of his dancing! Casual fan or not I always thought his dancing was always a treat to watch and I can think of none other in contemporary times that danced anything like him.

Honestly I have no words that can appropriately describe him. Amazing? Creative? Talented? A legend? A tragic figure? Misunderstood? Childlike? All of these are appropriate for him. There will never be another man like him. He was one of a kind and no one will ever be like him, act like him, sing like him, or dance like him (you can imitate him all you want but it's just not the original!).


Personally I think the allegations of the molesting children was bogus. Just cases of greedy seedy people that found the perfect person to exploit - a person the media already views as somewhat "odd". I've talked with some of my family and we all agree - He was a man physically but a child mentally. If you WATCH his mannerism you can see this! He was trying to recapture a childhood he was denied as a child which is very sad.
Matter factly a psychologist attested during the trial that Mr. Jackson would regress mentally to that of a 10 yr old at times and I find it very EASY to see the dominant childish nature of the man. Taking this into account can you imagine how much it effected Michael whenever his name was slandered or fun was poked at him or ghastly rumors were spread? I sure as hell remember being hurt whenever I was teased or rumors were spread about me in school so I can't even fathom his hurt. But of course the media has no heart on whole so who cares?

He was probably the sweetest man you could have ever met which just makes it that much sadder that he was so terribly mangled in the media.


The only thing wrong with Michael was he was terribly naive and I think he made some bad decisions on who to allow close to him. It seemed Michael kept some idiot staff/doctors around him who were more focused on trying to please him and ensure a lined pocket than watch his health. Michael was used in childhood by his father and on into his life and this is one of the worst tragedies in my eyes.

Personally I believe the one thing Michael did that was wrong was when he made the ill choice to dangle his son out the window in Germany. It was far from smart and he didn't have the greatest hold on the child BUT here's an interesting thing my mother pointed out about this incident - If you pay attention to his hold you'll notice how similar it is to the way a child will hold something. Interesting. Then again point me out the perfect parent.

I also really wish Michael had left his nose alone after the first surgery because as big a fan as anyone may be you have to admit that more than likely he really did have more than 2 surgeries on his nose. I sometimes wondered if perhaps one of the jobs were botched and others had to be performed to try and fix it - who knows? Plenty of harsh jokes came from this and it was OBVIOUS that Michael was very self-conscious about his appearance. I took careful note of his favoring of silhouetting himself in videos and it's very sad that in his later videos he was showing his face at a bare minimum - a good example of this would be the 'You Rock My World' video.
Others may have other theories but I really think it was because of the media making fun of his appearance.


I will miss Michael and always be saddened by the tragedy of his life and the misconceptions that destroyed his life and hurt his career. And whether you loved him or hated him he was a talented individual that is one of those types of people that comes once on earth and never again. He will never be bested and I fully believe no one will ever break his record of having the best selling albums of all time and I hope they don't just so he can, in essence, have the last laugh. In the end I think in spite of all the haters Michael always had more fans than haters and they will always adore him.


He was a beautiful soul that will be immortalized by his music and generosity to others. Bless you Michael and might you groove and moonwalk your way through heaven forever more. You better believe I'll be knocking down heaven's door just so I can meet you and groove with you in heaven. =3

Rest in peace you gentle soul...



Rae morosely out to mourn for the rest of her life.





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